He Who Hates Chips
by Funerealist
Summary: Lemy befriends a kid from school named D, but has no clue what he's in for after inviting him over to his house to hang out. Rated T for language.


**Author's note: A nonsensical story written on fumes. Basically, over in TLVG, (aka the sin kid threads) there has been an ongoing situation for nearly a year with trolling, and harassment of a writer named Chipbat. Outsider316 (aka Insani-D) was accused of being the troll, and he's been branded as "Chiphater." So, I figured I'd write this disaster for the hell of it. With these kind of stories I write, I can just say don't take it too seriously, but there's definitely some references, hidden jokes, and fired shots within this. Overall, there's some serious, relentless toxicity in this fandom, and it never ceases to amaze me. Originally posted on my pastebin on 6/15/19.**

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Lemy was sitting on his living room couch and playing a racing video game with his new friend, D. The two boys got to know each other the past week, yet this was the first time they were hanging out after school.

However, D was an unusual type, and a bit of an outsider compared to the average kids in Royal Woods. He's literally the letter d, though he had red skin alongside very stubby arms and legs. Personality wise, he possessed a bad temper, but it only came out whenever he got pushed, even if only moderately. If a certain one of his triggers got triggered, hell would unleash.

Presently, things were pretty quiet so far, which was a damn miracle in the Loud House. Lemy was use to having sisters in the way, and he had virtually lost count of how many times they all invited friends over. Lyra usually gathered the most buddies whenever that happened, she liked the attention they gave, and she absolutely adored gloating to them about her sizable amount of views on her religious fanfics.

Regardless, the situation at hand remained peaceful, and chock-full of fun. The boys were having a blast!

Then sometime during the gaming session, Lyle casually walked into the room.

"Hey, dudes." He greeted.

"Sup, bro." Lemy said, glancing to the side as he paused the game.

"You haven't met D, right?" He asked.

"Nope." Lyle replied.

D looked at his friend's brother. He didn't know why, but he had a bad feeling about him. Perhaps it was his girly hair, or his permanently smug face. If it's neither, he knew something still did feel kind of... odd.

Though deciding to not disrupt the even flow, he spoke. "Yo."

Lyle took a seat on the couch beside him and shook his hand, getting some tiny traces of chip dust on it.

D felt that stuff on his hand, yet found the strength to not get heated about it. All he's gotta do is relax, and play some video games. No need to lose his shit over something insignificant.

Once seeing those two acquainted, Lemy stared the race back up.

"What game is this?" Lyle asked as he glared at the flickering tv.

"It's Wasame Turismo 9001." Lemy answered.

"Ohhh..." Lyle said before scooting closer to D.

Then he pulled a small bag of doritos out of his pocket and started eating them. He loved chips. He'd gladly devour any kind of them. There was no discrimination here.

Meanwhile, D ended up being neck and neck with Lemy in the race. They both held their own whenever it came to video games. No matter the style, be it rpgs, shooters, or something else, they generally excelled.

"You're going down." The boy said, letting his competitiveness shine. He's a tryhard!

"Not even in your dreams." D responded, playfully bumping his shoulder.

Lyle spectated the little ongoing battle. The excitement of it made him hungrier, so he started sticking handfuls of doritos into his mouth and chewing them as if he hadn't eaten in days.

D's eyes suddenly twitched while hearing the excessive feeding noises ringing in his ears.

Om nom nom. Yeah, that's what it sounded like.

Desperate to hinder that distraction, he pushed the controllers buttons firmly to try and drown out the reverberation of chip loving.

After a few seconds went by, Lyle started chewing louder.

D kept on mashing buttons, yet it didn't help whatsoever as the disgusting crunching began to interrupt his focus.

On the other hand, Lemy didn't seem to be bothered by it. Although, he's probably use to Lyle eating like a damn pig. Ironically, that trap was scrawny contrary to his nearly obese sister, Liena. And no, she's not 'thicc.' She's fat. Which is definitely okay!

D gritted his teeth in frustration when his friend passed him on the final lap.

All throughout this, Lyle's lips smacked as he snacked. He just wouldn't let the hell up.

The letter shaped boy leaned forward and tightened his grip on his controller.

"Come on, come on..." He muttered under his breath.

Being so determined to outdo each other, both kids put their pedals to the metal. But only one of them can win, fuuuuuuuck!

The cars went vroom, D's heart went boom... and Lyle will hopefully meet his doom!

Three, two, one...

Lemy powered through the finish line, passing D by only a few inches.

"Yes!" He cheered. "I won!"

"Good job, bro." Lyle congratulated, his words muffled by the chips cluttered in his mouth.

"That's some motherfucking bullshit!" D exclaimed, seething like Vale does whenever he sees something homophobic.

"Whoa, take it easy, man." Lemy said.

D frowned at him, yet realized his aggression was locked on the wrong target.

He turned and pointed at Lyle.

"This is your fault!" He accused hotly.

"No, it's not. You're just a sore loser!" Lyle retorted, sticking out his dorito layered tongue.

"If you hadn't been sitting there eating chips so loudly I would have won!" D shouted while clenching his fists.

Once noticing his friend was unreasonably angry, Lemy touched his shoulder lightly.

"Relax, dude. We can have a rematch." He assured.

"No, it's too late for that." D responded, rolling his eyes.

He stared intensely at the sin kid he despised. The same one who may have been unintentionally involved in leaving many accounts negative.

"I... am... Chiphata!"

D kicked Lyle's bag of doritos right out of his hands, causing them to spill all over the carpet.

"What the heck, dude?!" He said in shock.

His favorite snack now laid on the floor... dirty, ruined, and inedible.

As D stood there snorting like a bull who saw red, Lyle shoved him.

"Oh, you wanna go, punk?" He taunted. He might be a long haired trap, but he's no pussy!

Not desiring for this to escalate, Lemy acted by getting between them.

"Break it up." He demanded, attempting to hold them back.

D somehow slithered through the grasp and slapped Lyle in the face.

"Ow!" The boy yelped.

"Stop it!" Lemy barked, hardening his stance and preventing that from occurring again. He knew this'll definitely be the last time he brings a friend over for a while.

Just when he thought he had dealt with hell, one of the bats that Lupa tended to shit out on the norm suddenly flew into the room.

"Eeek! Eeek!" It screeched. Whatever that means.

"Ahh, shiiit!" D whined upon being bitten by the bat.

Lemy and Lyle's eyes widened in surprise. They had never ever seen any of Lupa's pets actually bite someone before. Not even people from school like Kevin Robinson.

"Are you alright?" They asked in unison.

D glanced down at the small wound on his arm.

He frowned his hardest upon spotting the dark creature eating those spilt chips right off the carpet.

"Stupid fucking Chipbat!"

Amidst his boiling rage, he hissed at Lyle, staring him down with unparalleled, unhealthy hatred in his eyes.

The two brothers were caught speechless as the letter shaped boy slowly backed away from them.

Failing to break his gaze, D opened the front door, then awkwardly slammed it shut before hauling ass home.

"I hate chips! ...And that Lyle kid!" He rambled to himself as he ran at the speed of spite.

During this, Lemy shook his head in confusion. He almost thought he was hallucinating.

"Guess he should've chose his battles more wisely." Lyle said while he went to the kitchen to get more doritos like nothing happened.

Eventually, D arrived in front of his house.

He walked forward, only to accidentally step on the wheatgrass growing in his yard.

"Hey! Watch where you're stepping, you fucking spic!" It yelled.

D shrugged, then hopped onto the pavement to avoid another racial slur being thrown his way.

Afterwards, he went inside the house.

From there on, he immediately dashed to his room, or in this case, his evil lair.

Once reaching his secret place, he looked around to make sure his parents haven't snooped in and touched his stuff.

D had various bags of chips strung up in nooses, or nailed to the wall. Some of them were also disemboweled, their fillings emptied and stomped into mere crumbs. He hated them as much as some content creators did naysayers.

Following some obsessive inspection, he realized that everything seemed to be in order, thankfully.

Once that was clear, the only things left on D's mind were Lyle and death.

That trap must die one day. He shall perish in flames...

However, D needed to lay down the foundation for such a thing to occur.

He began by snagging a sharpie and a piece of paper, then he officially wrote Lyle's name down, thus putting him on his ignore list. Such a cruel, undeserved fate.

He taped that paper to the wall near his collection of mutilated chip bags, to which he capitalized on by throwing darts at it. Apparently doing that means you hate someone. Fuck.

"I will have my revenge!" He declared. "Nyaaaah!"

D spent the rest of that night praying for the demise of all chips alongside Lyle.


End file.
